Baby Linda's Story
(In centro)We were placed with baby Linda by chance. After two weeks of care in our Centro, she spiked a fever that could not be controlled. Our directors were out of town and needed Colin and I to drive our staff and little Linda to the emergency room to have blood work drawn. We were able to head home as soon as that was done (this was at the very beginning of COVID-19 and we were advised, not to stick around the hospital). While we were en route, our director called and asked if we would be willing to take Linda home to monitor her for the next 48 hours. We did not hesitate to say, yes. We were over the moon to be helping her heal. How could we not be?
After flushing her with fluids, (which was pretty difficult, since she was hardly able to withstand what is considered significantly below the normal intake) she found her way out of the 105-degree fever. That was the first step in a long road of healing.
(one week with us)Within a week, we were able to get this little girl up to 32 ounces of formula a day! You could see her body thriving and ready to take on overcoming her delays. The muscles in her neck strengthened rather quickly and we could see her personality blossoming. Colin said to me, hey what’s going on? Why isn’t she so snuggly and calm anymore? I looked at him half bursting with pride and half full of brokenness and said, it’s because she is healing in every area of her life. Look at her - she now has the strength to look around, so she wants to and she now knows she has a voice, so she’s using it.
A month later and she had already mastered sitting unassisted AND crawling. But, just like in her sister, what I could see was far more than just physical healing, she was healing emotionally. She had developed a secure attachment. She knew if she cried, we were coming. She knew if she needed something, we would provide it. She knew if we left, we came back. She knew - she was loved.
(3 weeks with us)
We have gone through a rollercoaster with our upcoming reintegration both in plan and in emotion. I sit here trying to find the words to explain and understand how she and her sister could in fact be potentially returning to the home that had left them so hurt and broken. How could a system not recognize the trauma that a neglected child endures? How can we help these children find healing and then send them right back to the people who said, you don’t have a voice because you don’t exist, leaving them to believe that they don’t matter? I find myself repeating over and over to them, hoping and praying that no matter the outcome that they have instilled deep within their soul that they DO have a voice and they DO matter to me, to their papi, and most importantly to their Lord and savior.
I am back where I started, knowing that this world is full of brokenness and sin, begging for these girls to be spared. LORD, if where they came from is still no longer safe. PLEASE, allow a family member to come forward who will love them like we love them, like YOU love them. Amén.
I’ve said it once and I will say it again. Foster care is messy and it sucks. I look at these girls and see the healing that is only possible because of God’s unrelenting love. I hear the devil whispering in my ear, why does it even matter? I am going to undo it all anyway. Just give up, you can’t make a difference. Well, not today Satan. Not today! You canNOT stop me. I will love His children and seek justice for them, even if it breaks me over and over again. I will NOT allow you to shake me. You will find me on my knees praying every single day for His children to find a safe and loving family, in a physical family and in the family of Christ, in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.... Satan, you have NO power here.
I know all too well that there is no harder pill to swallow than to let go and give it over to the Lord. But, what I have learned time and time again is that His plans and His knowledge are far greater than my imagination or understanding. I have no doubt that He will use these children and the gifts that we helped blossom in them to move mountains, farthing His Kingdom.
Please be praying for us, the girls, their bio family, and every single agency/country out there that works with children in crisis - may there always be a ‘what’s in the best interest of the child’ available and may we never give up seeking out a safe and loving family. Foster care - It ain’t easy, but it’s always worth it.
(Forever, loved by us)“Our fight is not against people on earth. We are fighting against the rulers and authorities and the powers of this world’s darkness. We are fighting against the spiritual powers of evil in the heavenly places.” — Ephesians 6:12
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