Pregnancy Dreams - pleas of our hearts
Pregnancy dreams are so vivid that seven times out of ten, I wake up and am not sure if what happened was a memory or just a dream.
Last night (well, I guess it was actually super early this morning) was no exception.
I dreamt that I was in an interview with the people who make the laws and policies for vulnerable children in Honduras. Their last question to me was, “If you could only change one thing about the new foster care program, what would it be?”
I bit my tongue for a moment because I was afraid to give my honest answer. They looked at me expectantly and I am certain they could tell my hesitation. I gave them a half smile (not that they could tell through my mask) and said, “I’m not sure you’re going to like my answer.” They replied with a simple, “I guess we will have to see.”
As I braced myself for complete and utter dismissal, I said a silent prayer that my words would be heard, not as a current foster mother expecting a loss, but as someone who wants every child to have an opportunity to be loved in a family.
I took a deep breath and said, “If I could change just one thing about the program, it would be that IF children in care must enter the process of abandonment, for whatever reason, that foster families would have the first rights to adoption.”
Before waiting even one millisecond for a response I said. “But please, if I may, I really would like to provide you with my reasoning because it isn’t a selfish one.”
I could feel my heart beating in my ears, as I pressed on - still not waiting for a response or permission to continue.
“My reasoning is this: It is our job as a country and as families to protect children. In my mind, if there are one hundred cases that enter abandonment every year - this is not just newborns but older kids, sibling groups, children with special needs, etc. - that is one hundred opportunities for us to protect children from another great loss - another great trauma. That is one hundred cases, every single year. Maybe even more, if there are sibling groups, but one hundred children that don’t have to wait another day, week, month, or year to find their forever family, to find permanency - because they are already in a safe and loving family. Because together, we made sure of that.”
I woke up with my heartbeat still in my ears and tears in my eyes. All before I could hear or even read a response on their faces.
Funny how the pleas of our heart find their way into our dreams. (Funny how the sudden ability to speak Spanish fluently also finds its way into our dreams.)
No system is perfect because this world is broken and bursting of sin. It’s unrealistic to beg for perfection or even rapid change, but my heart will always be pleading for children to be spared and for them to find refuge in a safe and loving forever family.
Last evening, Legacy of Hope held our first introductory training to the new foster care program. Watching prospective families hear how lives have been changed simply because a family took the brave leap of faith in saying yes to vulnerable children ... well, it was incredible.
Here I was - now on the inside looking out. I watched as their eyes were opened to a great need. An incredible, yet impossibly difficult calling. Knowing the exact fear and convictions that were racing through their minds. If we could only give them an ounce of the beauty that comes from embracing this calling, I bet they'd be in the office tomorrow for their first official training. It's not perfect friends, but these kids are perfect to our Savior and THEY are worth it.
Let's pray for more yeses!
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