Forever in our hearts - Fresa Girl
Fresa Girl - 
It seemed wrong to open my heart and love her as much as I did. The day she woke up and began calling me Mami Becca wrecked me; not because I didn’t want her to, but because I knew her mami wanted to be there for her. Fresa’s story wasn’t like the others, she wasn’t waiting for child services to find someone who would be willing to care for her - because that wasn’t the problem - the problem was that she had so many people who loved her that no one could agree who would get the privilege.
We first met Fresa while helping out in the Centro de Paso (Emergency Crisis Care). Let me tell you - she stole our hearts over and over. She was always so matter of fact and very grown-up. If I was ever to show up without Colin, she was sure to express her displeasure but she was always sweet enough to follow up with, “at least you are here tia Becca.” You could tell that she missed her family, but you could also see that she was used to fending for herself and being in charge. She was always so very curious about our family dynamic. The night that Sassy came to live with us, she looked at me and said, “You know, maybe I could come live with you and Tio Colin too?” ***Insert my shattered heart here.** I smiled sweetly at her and said, “I can’t make the decisions on where you go, but you are very loved wherever you are.” Then, I gave her a huge hug and reminded her that we would be back to visit. (Not knowing that she would be headed our direction, much sooner than we would have the chance to come back hers).
The day she arrived, she came in and unpacked her things in a just-so way. She lined her shoes up under her bed and did her best to align her clothes in an orderly fashion. (Colin was in the process of making her a little closet, but wasn’t quite done yet). From then on, she just hopped right in and didn’t skip a beat. (although, it took her a while to get used to the dog. Mostly because she thought he was gross and ugly. Her pitbull at home was “much cuter’). I could tell in seconds that she had really missed the love and affection of a family. She always wanted to be near to us and constantly would check in as she played. If we were sitting, she was sitting. If we were in the kitchen, she was in the kitchen. If we were watching tv, she was snuggled right in there next to us. This trend continued throughout her five months with us.
I remember the day she found the book that I had written "Little Lovey: Coming Home". It is a simple poem explaining the love and anticipation of waiting to become a foster parent. She could not believe that I was the author and that the pictures illustrated photos of us. Her disbelief wasn’t even the sweetest part. When we turned to the last page and read through the words together, she looked up at me and said, “Hey, this is like us right? You were ready for us and when it’s time to go, you will hold us in your hearts forever.” I could not believe how she had just put it together and understood that no matter where she goes, there will always be love for her here.
Don’t get me wrong because this little Fresa TESTED her boundaries. I sometimes wonder if that was her favorite game to play, how far can I go today? She would push us right to the edge of insanity and to the tippy top of our Spanish level; right before coming back down to her sweet six-year-old self, who was just looking to make sure she had a place and was loved. As soon as she knew her day had come, she kept saying that we would hold her in our hearts and she would hold us in hers - and man was she right. She undeniably impacted our lives forever. It seemed wrong to love her, but with the same token, it seemed wrong to let her go. Such is the life of foster care.
“It might be temporary, but the impact lasts a lifetime”. -Foster Care Truths
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