"How can you do it? I would NEVER be able to do what you do." I hear you.
Trust me, these families are not in it for the glory. They're certainly not in it for any money. They're in it for the sake of these children, THEIR children. If they weren't here to push through the impossibly hard, who would be? Who would push for what's best for them? Would anyone even know them well enough to know what is best? Or what they actually need? Would anyone know them well enough to say, yeah I was there for every first, every milestone, every ouchy, every holiday and every celebration? I - their family - was there.
It's hard.
I know that no matter what - it is worth it. HE is worth it. THEY are worth it. I would sign up again and again to have my heart ripped from my chest if it meant that my family was the reason that a child had the opportunity to know the unconditional love of a family. I don't mean that selfishly because I don't want a pat on the back or a way to go to my family. It's not about us. It's about these precious gifts that NEED to be raised and loved IN A FAMILY. Have they not experienced enough trauma from losing their birth family? Should they now be forced into their "best option" - an intuition that means well but simply CANNOT provide the same level of love, care and attention as a family unit? The sheer statistics on children who grow up in institutional care versus families is world changing.
Let your world be changed, friends. It takes one family at a time to have their world changed by a child.
It's hard.
He calls us Mama and Papa, but he will likely lose us too. Certainly not by choice. We'd give all that we have to protect him from another loss. But that's not up to us. Maybe someday the policies will change, but in the meantime we won't let that stop us from doing what is best for these children. We cant't blame "them" because really it's not their fault. We live in a sin-filled world where the devil finds joy in ripping families apart. He is the reason for the devastation. We won't let him prevail. We know that because we loved - he will know how to love, he will know that he was wanted, he will know what a mama is, he will know what a papa is, he will know how to get attached to those who love him, he will know how to have a healthy relationship, he will never have known a moment without a home bursting full of love, and best of all, he will know that there is a Heavenly Father that loves him despite the world's shortcomings. The trajectory of his life will have been changed simply because we wouldn't accept anything less than a safe and loving family for his formative years.
It's hard.
The ONLY way through is with Jesus. The ONLY way to cope is to hope that someone somewhere is praying JUST as hard for him. I can hear them saying, "Lord as we prepare to grow our family through adoption. Let our baby boy be safe and loved". I hear you. He is so safe and so very very loved. We are here.
It's hard. It's exhausting. Sometimes it feels defeating, but HE and THEY are worth it.
(For those of you very confused and are like "uh hello, foster to adopt. You're the first choice." There were policies put into place years ago (in the country where we serve) with the intent to protect children that forbids families from filing for adoption for children who are already in their care.) ... It's Hard.
